It was Thanksgiving morning and I was holding in a BIG secret.

A couple days earlier, after having some weird dreams and a few strange symptoms, I had decided to pee on one of those sticks.

You know, the ones that tell you that you are being crazy, imagining symptoms that aren’t really there and that you are about to get your period.

Well, that’s what I thought they were at least.

I am a bit of a worrier.

Maybe even a hypochondriac.

So, about a dozen times since we have been married, I have peed on one of those sticks after convincing myself that I was experiencing pregnancy symptoms.

This particular morning was no different from any other.

I pulled out a stick from my “I’m probably over-thinking this” stash, did my thing and

set it on the bathroom counter so that it could process and tell me that once again I was being crazy and was, in fact, about to start my period.

Then, I went to feed my cats.

The cat food made me gag.

I never gagged when I fed my cats.

“You’re crazy,” I whispered to myself.

I made a bowl of oatmeal and headed back into the bathroom to get ready.

 

And there it was.

Something I had never seen before.

A faint little vertical line that turned the “Nope, you’re just crazy” sign into a “Brace yourself. This is going to change your life forever” sign.

I stared at it.

It stared back at me.

 

I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I was really awake.

 

My heart was pounding and I was numb.

I was terrified.

I was in disbelief.

My mind was racing.

I prayed.

 

Then, I took a picture of it with my iPhone, then shoved it back into the box and hid the box in the cabinet.

 

I went on with my day as if nothing had happened.

Again, I was totally numb.

A few times throughout the day I took out my phone and looked at the picture.

Was this really happening?

How was I going to tell Christian?

 

We had just started entertaining the thought of having a baby.

But then, just two weeks earlier, we found out that there was a good chance that I would lose my job, so we quickly decided NOT to have a baby.

What were we going to do?

 

So, I didn’t tell him.

At least not at first.

 

I wanted to tell him, but my hormones were running wild and I kept accidentally picking fights 

with him instead.

 

“What is wrong with you?” he kept asking. “You are acting so weird.”

Somehow, screaming the words “I’m pregnant! That’s what’s wrong with me!” in a moment of hormonal rage just didn’t seem like the right way to tell him.

 

So the day passed and all of a sudden it was Thanksgiving morning and I still hadn’t told him.

I had to tell him that morning.

People were going to be offering me drinks all day and I needed his help to cover up my secret.

 

I decided to share the news using the only thing that made sense to me:

our cats, Jude and Eleanor Rigby.

I picked up one under each arm and tip-toed back to our spare bedroom with some scrapbooking paper and ribbon, praying that Christian would not wake up and come to check on me.

I made some little tags.

I decided to make it look like an early Christmas present since Thanksgiving seems to be the official kickoff to the holiday season.

The kitties were so well-behaved and cooperative.

It’s as if they knew how important this was. 

I tucked the pregnancy test into Eleanor’s ribbon just in case Christian didn’t understand the message on the tags.

My heart was pounding as I carried the kitties into our bedroom.

 

Christian was still sleeping.

I turned on the lights and put the cats down on top of him.

Ellie walked up to his face, right on cue as he started to wake up.

He opened his eyes and saw the tag. 

 

He spent a few seconds processing.

Then, he broke the silence.

 “No way.”

 

I felt sick.

What was he thinking?

 

“Are you serious?!” he practically shouted.

Eleanor got scared and started to run away but I grabbed the pregnancy test as she ran past and handed it to him. 

 

“No way,” he said again.

 

Then, he made the cutest little squeal and jumped from the bed with a hug so big it would be better described as a tackle.

I love that man.

 

We sat on the bed talking, and he eased my many fears and conflicting emotions by assuring me that this was a huge blessing and that everything was going to be fine.

 

The rest of the day was surreal.

We went over to his parents’ house, where we celebrated Thanksgiving with his extended family and my family as well. 

Christian would have told everyone right then, but I explained that most people wait to tell.

Throughout the day, we would catch each others’ gaze and smile.

It was fun to have a secret.

 

At one point, I caught Christian standing out on the porch by himself.

I knew what he was doing.

He was praying.

 

I’m pretty sure he will never forget that Thanksgiving.

“Thankful” had a whole new meaning.